Erotic massage Bucharest – top salons in town

In Bucharest erotic massage services are very popular. Many people apply for this type of services to solve the lack of tenderness and eroticism.

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Usually people have a wrong impression, thinking that this service involves sexual contact, but in reality both the masseuse and the client are prohibited from offering, receiving and demand comprehensive sexual services. Before embarking on this kind of services you should know that you will not get sex but you get privacy, relaxation, erotic massage and completions techniques that do not include sex.

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When you arrive at a massage parlor you will be greeted by beautiful masseuses dressed in sexy gowns, dresses, lingerie or swimwear.

You have to choose the masseuse that you most like by attitude, physics, smile, each one of you according to personal criteria. Then, once chosen the masseuse you should decide on the type of massage you want.

You can choose between Swedish massage, Thai massage, relaxation massage, sports massage, hot stone massage, massage in whirlpool, four hands massage, couples massage, swing, erotic massage or lingam massage. Besides all this, according to your fantasies and available masseuses, they can meet up your fantasies of domination verbal or physical and other fetish. After choosing the desired masseuse in the room she will give up her clothes and she will remain nude, all nude she will execute all types of massage above mentioned. If you do not want nudity please specify this.

Erotic massage and lingam massage are types of massage made by a masseuse with her whole body. The breasts, bottom, thighs, legs, hands, with feet flat on the customer’s genital area.

On the site you can see the ladies available every time with a photo gallery with real pictures, a few words of description, age, experience, services and massage techniques performed by each one. All you have to do is choose the desired combination.

Our massage salons provides professional, high quality services since 2000. Among our clients there are politicians, businessmen, tourists and local people with above average incomes, all of whom agree that we are a five-star brand.

All masseuses are qualified for therapeutic and relaxation massages, are lawfully employed and own medical tests to date. Besides legality and safety we have made sure that each of the 30 girls to be beautiful but in a different way so that each of the clients retrieve ideal masseuse.

The lounges are decorated in oriental style, each room represents a a different area, each one is handmade by an interior designer. The colors, the music, the details,the materials are carefully chosen to create a state of relaxation. Everything is sanitized after each client so that you can relax without a care. Each parlor of the three that we have is centrally located in Bucharest, in elegant villas with own parking, air conditioning and approvals from state institutions.

If you want to benefit from relaxing or erotic massage in the comfort of your home or in your hotel room, you can choose desired masseuse from the gallery, make an appointment and the chosen masseuse will reach you within 30 minutes or at the appointed time . When it has reached the masseuse will have a badge and the invoice and of course the goods needed for massage. All you have to do, if you want, is to open a champagne bottle, choose some beautiful music and take a shower. Showering you can also do when the girls is arrived, together with it.

If you have not experienced before an erotic massage or a relaxing massage performed by a beautiful nude masseuse, if you want to see another joy of life we recommend you to visit our salons and to schedule a meeting.

Will be more than massage. It will be a unique experience, an adventure!

Great American Sex Diet – Recipes For Great Sex

The happiest couples enjoy an active sex life, making love at least 2-3 times each week with their beloved partner to keep happy, sexy love hormones flowing for a brain in love. They enjoy the healthy longevity benefits that stem from an active sex life in a committed relationship known as the marriage effect.

Unhappy couples often complain that sex has become infrequent, predictable or non-existent. If couples allow the sexual fire to die in their relationship, one or both partners may feel justified in seeking emotional, physical, spiritual satisfaction elsewhere, on the slippery slope of affairs that often lead to divorce.

“Divorce is a failure in creativity,” I often say. Now I’ll reveal a creative alternative which rekindles the sexual spark even in couples who are stressed out, who have little or no desire for sex with their partner, and who may be on the brink of breaking up.

As I devoured the book, The Great American Sex Diet by Laura Corn, I was delighted to discover her simple erotic recipe for great sex that endures for decades:


Upon first glance, you may misinterpret the second ingredient in this erotic recipe. Variety does not mean having sex with multiple partners, but creating sexual surprises that keep things fresh and fun for decades in a committed relationship. Why do couples need a variety of sexual surprises?

Because a cause of sexual malaise is predictability. The author describes it as a feeling that the partner you love and adore will not, cannot surprise you any more.

If you separately ask each partner if they can predict how they’d make love that night, and they each answer, YES, then that’s red flag. It’s a warning sign you need to get unstuck from the sexual rut of predictability before sexual desire dies. How do you start?

You’ll discover dozens of surprises that spice up sex, wrapped in packages labeled for women’s eyes only and for men’s eyes only. You won’t let your partner read your menu of surprises, because that would spoil the surprise. I won’t be the spoiler by revealing the surprises here, but I encourage you to add them to your couples love toolkit today.

Why is anticipation the first ingredient in this erotic recipe?

“When you create a sense of anticipation surrounding sex, you give your partner a route to recharge their lust,” says author, Laura Corn. “Remember when you first met and you pawed at each other, teased each other, reveled in the waiting period as much as the consummation itself, because you never knew what was going to happen next?”

Your physical and sexual attraction was palpable and ready to ignite like a wildfire, because of anticipation. Without it, sex often feels predictable and you may take each other for granted. “Oh, it’s you again.”

The face and body that used to drive you wild with sexual desire can seem like the same old, same old-unless you create a magical sense of anticipation. How do you start?

You’ll discover many tools and techniques of seduction when you embark on The Great American Sex Diet which takes you and your partner on a romantic journey lasting 28 days. Each time you introduce a new position, technique or toy from your new sexual treasure chest, you not only expand your sexual horizons but you also charge your sexual batteries and your partner’s.

If your sex life only revolves around the missionary position, then one or both of you eventually will feel bored. When you infuse your sex life with anticipation and a variety of sexual surprises that are suggested in this book, you can enjoy great sex for decades.

How do you define, “Great sex?”

“Great sex is whatever you believe it to be, whatever makes you feel good on the inside and out,” says the author. “Great sex changes all the time. Sometimes it’s about having a wild, fun time. Sometimes it’s more slow and romantic. Sometimes it’s being able to connect on the level of the soul.”

The common denominator for all great sex is that the two people sharing the experience are both into it together. They are intimately united in body, mind, spirit.

There’s another important ingredient that could be added to this erotic recipe: FREQUENCY. It’s called The Great American Sex Diet because you will nourish yourself and your sexual partner each day for 28 days. What results can you expect?

Thousands of couples who followed this 28 day sex diet later gave this feedback to the author: Couples who commit to having regular sex report that they feel better, feel more alive. They can see this when they look in the mirror. They feel stronger, more orgasmic, more connected physically, emotionally, spiritually. Some couples even got pregnant on their 28 day great sex diet.

If you desire a new menu of erotic recipes for undying sexual passion, you’ll love the full-meal deal you and your beloved will savor in The Great American Sex Diet.

And couples resolve conflicts and find bliss in each monthly issue of HappySexyLoveMagazine. Claim the premiere issue as Hadley Finch’s gift on her blog,

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How Pornography Addiction Affects The Sex Lives of Couples

If one half of a couple is addicted to pornography in a monogamous relationship, it is a certainty that over time, the amount of sex that couple will have will reduce significantly (and eventually disappear altogether) and that any sex they do have will gradually become less loving and more perverse or aggressive as time goes on.

Many partners of porn addicts explain how at the start of their relationships their sex lives were breath-taking and about emotional and sexual intimacy but that over time – as their partner’s porn use increased – sex became less tender, more aggressive and far less frequent.

As this happens, many partners gradually begin to feel nothing more than objectified tools for the instant gratification of their porn addict – and totally interchangeable with porn – and cry inwardly at this. Some feel like punching their addict in the face when they are reduced to body parts to be mauled and assaulted during sex. They know their partner’s minds are with the porn images and porn performers they have seen and that they are – in effect – just pseudo sex dolls. They cease to feel cherished as a result. For many, kissing vanishes too – both from sex and their relationship as a whole.

Many loved ones feel that their partners would rather be having sex with “perfect” porn performers and not with their imperfect selves and this makes them feel ugly and undesirable which slowly but surely chips away at their self esteem more and more every day. This is made all the worse when porn addicts ask their partners to re-enact porn scenes they have seen or to act like porn performers during sex. Knowing their partners can only keep an erection if they do, they comply but then feel cheapened afterwards. Sex soon becomes utterly devoid of any real intimacy as a result. Sometimes, partners are not even asked for sex but are just taken roughly from behind. Others are groped whilst they sleep. This is probably because their addict has been watching “unconscious porn”.

As their partner’s addiction escalates, loved ones are often asked to do increasingly disturbing sexual things such as: remove all body hair so they look like the barely legal/ teenage bodies their partners are viewing; engage in S&M and bondage; have pain inflicted on them; have other people involved in their sex (which include “lesbians”, “shemales” and prostitutes); dress like porn performers or strippers; allow themselves to be slapped or strangled and are asked to have rough anal sex – amongst many other things and usually dependent upon what the porn addict has been viewing.

Their porn addicts soon begin to scare them. At first loved ones believe their partners behavior is simply sexual experimentation but soon realise something seriously untoward is happening yet loved ones can still be plagued with the feeling that it is they who are over-reacting and their partner usually agrees – telling them it is they who are “prudes”. Many loved ones do not want to be giving their partners what they often term “the nastier stuff” because it feels like a sort of rape to them but often do not have the strength to say no because they fear their addict will do porn all the more – and this is one of their worst fears as the porn is “competition”. One woman in my research wrote “Porn to me is like him having a lot of different mistresses – all of which my husband prefers to me. My husband has something that I can’t compete with – a never-ending stream of women who will do whatever he wants and ask for nothing in return.”

Often, porn addicts will go to porn for their arousal prior to sex leaving their partners naked in bed waiting for them. This hurts partners deeply. Sex then usually lasts only a few minutes and then the person leaves them immediately after climax (that is if climax is still possible due to the erectile dysfunction issues addicts have due to escalating porn use which is often the case).

The partners of porn addicts become obsessed over time with trying to get closer again to their loved ones as well as doing all they can to control or stop their partners porn use and will often go to great lengths to try and accomplish these things. In the process they often end up abandoning all their inhibitions and do things they do not want to be doing. But even “spicing things up” (like being filmed, photographed, going to adult or swingers clubs with their partners or adding more people to the sexual mix) does not keep their partners attention for long. More is then expected sexually of the partner. And whether the loved one gives the addict sex or not, the porn use never stops regardless how many times a day sex is given. Often, partners find their partners doing porn soon after having sex with them.

Often loved ones will start off being “the cool wife/ partner” by watching soft-core porn with the person, getting them subscriptions to porn magazines or porn channels as well as doing the whole “strip club” thing with them but none of these things bring the couple closer together. Quite the opposite in fact. It pushes them further apart because the loved one is enabling the addicts addiction and sex eventually becomes non-existent. Instead the addict just ends up just wanting to do porn on their own as their addiction progresses and the loved one is always thrown on the sexual scrapheap feeling like just a room-mate to the person. If sex happens at all, it is usually the partner who initiates it and even then, there’s no foreplay or warmth and the addict has trouble orgasming or simply just staying erect/ aroused. Often addicts will fake orgasm then masturbate to porn whilst their loved one is asleep next to them. Addicts cunningly cover their backs by asking for sex only when their partner is too drained to be able to do it. Begging for sex starts to become humiliating for loved ones.

And so it goes on and on… Sometimes loved ones sleep on the couch to try and get the person to see sense but their addict simply does porn more now they don’t have to think of their partner being in the bedroom. Or the porn addict says they have erectile dysfunction due to being on an anti-depressant only to then be caught by their partner downloading porn and masturbating. Porn addicts end up complaining to their partners about being hounded for sex which leaves the self esteem of the loved one in shreds. This is the same for gay and straight relationships and where the porn addict is male or female.

And yet here is the irony… When the partners of porn addicts are being rejected left, right and centre sex wise their porn addicted partners are likely acting out with 3D games that allow players to “have sex with” performers where they can “give performers virtual orgasms“. If they are not doing that they also have the choice to buy and “have sex with” performer “body parts” (vagina and anus) made in the performers exact measurements. The real life partner is dying inside waiting for their loved one to touch them meanwhile “sex” is going on with a blow up body part and one day soon, a virtual reality avatar…

Billi Caine is an all around addiction specialist who has a special interest in porn addiction and the porn industry. You can visit her website HERE where you will find many blog posts related to the 101 of addiction, addiction recovery and the power of positive thinking.

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My Wife Is Initiating Sex and I Don’t Know About It

Initiating Sex series – My wife is initiating sex and I don’t know about it… That’s right fellas your wife is initiating sex and more often than you think. Pay closer attention and give her some credit. If this were a men’s only article, I would literally write 2 or 3 killer opening sentences and before getting right to the point. If you want her to get the message you have got chill out when it seems like I am favoring the female perspective. I am not biased at all and the goal here is for us all to receive and share in efforts to learn from each other.

Every man wants his wife to initiate sex sometimes…

The thing is she might not be doing it or saying it the way that you have desired to receive it but trust me often times she is actually the one who did initiated it… You just took the credit. What husband doesn’t want to feel like when he’s having sex with his wife that she actually wants to have sex with him? “Ladies, hear me out, we want YOU to be more vocal sometimes. What we actually want is to hear YOU tell us that you want it and your husband loves it when you tell him when, where, why and how you want him.”

Let’s all take a step back and seek to understand our spouses, what it is they feel they are doing and what they desire and have healthy dialogue about it. Happy fellas? Good! Now it’s your turn to do the listening. She wants to be pursued… Most women, not all, but most are very submissive when it comes to initiating sex; it is what is. The feminine ways of the wife comes out and her inner princess kicks into overdrive. Now fellas the inner princess is a three headed monster, not really because it’s very non-threatening. I call it 3 headed and drop the monster part. The first head is comes from her daddy/uncle/grandfather they may her feel like the world was waiting on her and that she literally only needed to show up. “I am guilty of that with my nieces.” The second head was developed by you. You have catered to her and made her feel comfortable and confident in her femininity sense the day you laid eyes on her. The third one is her nature coupled with traditional teachings of the chivalrous man. So without training and communication her instinct is to wait for you to make the first move. She may make herself available to you but she badly wants to be pursued. Think about the fact that most men not all but most men will be the ones who initiate asking the woman out. To be honest there are some women who won’t have it any other way. How often do you hear the husband and wife debate about who went after who first? It’s common right? Well the reason why, is because more times than none their perspective of what happened is just different even though the stories maintain some sort of closeness. Perspective is sometimes a silent killer that must have a voice. For the purpose of this example we will call the husband Tony, the wife Sharon and her friends name will be Tina.

Okay here we go…

Tony and Sharon are an awesome couple and others have always been intrigued to hear the story of how they met just as much as Tony and Sharon enjoy sharing it. While the pair have very few disagreements, this is a subject they playfully debate about quite often… their accounts of just who went after whom first is ALWAYS in question.

Tony consistently boasts that his wife, Sharon, pursued him first while she insists Tony was the one to pursue his interest in her. As they each tell their accounts of the night they met, they both agree on a few details… they met at a party when Sharon’s friend Tina mentioned to Tony that her friend “thought he was cute” and suggested that he ask her to dance. They agree that the attraction was mutual as Tony owned up to checking her out from afar and Tina agrees that she saw him and told Tina she thought he was “cute or whatever”. They also agree to exchanging numbers after Sharon agreed to Tony’s invitation to dance. Their story begins to divide when it comes to the initiation of pursuit.

Tony believes that Sharon was the initiator because it was her friend, Tina, who initially approached him to let him know of Sharon’s attraction and suggesting that he make the next move by asking her to dance. Sharon on the other hand, insists that it was actually Tony who initiated their encounter because he introduced himself to her.

If you examine the situation closely it seems like they both Tony and Sharon experienced the same encounter, however they did not experience it the same way. The differences in each of their experiences contributed to how they determined the true initiator. (In my eyes Tina was the initiator.)

What’s more important to you being right or being productive?

This type of cross pattern in communication happens a lot of times in marriage and the bedroom is not off limits either. Often times a “feminine submissive” wife will make herself available by putting the kids to bed early, cleaning up, not turning the TV on, showering and hopping into the bed waiting on her husband to make his move. If he doesn’t she may feel unwanted and sadly off to sleep she will go. On the other hand the husband may see this as repeat neglectful behavior and doesn’t realize that she has presented her interest, only in a non-verbal way. When he does make the advance in this situation he feels that he alone initiated sex, not realizing that the opportunity was present because his wife in fact desired sex and thought that this message was made clear because she presented herself as available for it, assuming that he would reciprocate by following up with a more assertive response.

Does this sound like you? Unfortunately, this is a pattern happening with many husbands and wives every night.

If we allow this to continue often enough the wife may feel like her initiating sex is being ignored… rejected even and the husband will grow frustrated and may even feel like she is only having sex with him as if sex is a “chore” or a wifely duty, instead of feeling desired.

Don’t forget to use your words…

Finding out how your partner recognizes initiation in the bedroom is key, you HAVE to talk to each other. The sexual frustration that develops from feeling rejected or undesired is dangerous! Tensions grows which eventually leads to lack luster sex or no sex at all. Soon the arguments start because the husband is highly frustrated. Meanwhile, the wife feels rejected and unattractive.

… and I think you may guess what happens next!

The husband belts out “I’m sick of you never initiating sex I am tired of being the only one who ever initiates sex.” In defense the wife yells out “I do initiate sex” The husband fires back “How?” She explains how she puts the kids to bed early, cleans up, doesn’t turn the TV on, showers and gets into bed waiting for him only to have him act like she doesn’t even exist. He laughs in rage “You call that initiating sex? You don’t even do anything. You just lay there waiting for me to make a move.” The wife shuts down because she thought the entire time that she was doing her part only to get this reaction from her frustrated, hurting husband. She now feels lost because she doesn’t even know where to begin. The husband in his rage is upset with her quietness and just goes to sleep only to revisit this dangerous cycle every few months until the brink of talks of divorce.

Inside the arguments lies the treasure of the unspoken…

If the husband and wife could have presented their perspectives to each other before arguing about them things could have been a lot different but instead they allowed time and routine to take over and now they are in sexual rut and at the point of possibly splitting up. It’s not too late! What has to happen now is forgiveness and then a plan of action must be put in place and they have to get comfortable with sharing their sexual needs wants and desires with each other before the point of frustration. So let me be clear there is absolutely nothing wrong with a “feminine submissive” wife. What I am saying, is that she needs to be and feel understood and may need training and patience while she tries to meet demands and needs of her husband to be more forth coming and vocal when she is initiating sex.

I like it like that…

Tell your spouse what you need and take turns accommodating each other’s individual needs. This is another reason why you need to connect physically so often because you don’t want the other spouse to feel cheated in their efforts to meet your needs that theirs are ignored because connection is so far apart. It’s so important that when your spouse is making an effort to meet your needs, whether it’s in initiating sex, in the act itself or during pregame activities; you need to tell them that you appreciate them and that you liked it when they did whatever it was that you desire from them. As you can see I am big on recognition.

… Just the opposite?

Let’s not forget about the “feminine dominant” wife. Often times she gets a bad rep because she is misunderstood and the fact is just like every spousal type she needs training to properly accommodate the needs of her husband and vice versa.

She is naturally more vocal both in and out of the bedroom. She embraces her femininity but at the same time she can be very dominant and leans more on presence than her emotions. I will say it again there is nothing wrong with a “feminine submissive or dominant” wife as long as their husbands seek to understand them and how they are wired while they simultaneously work to be more accommodating to the needs of that husband.

The plus side to her nature is the fact that she may not have a problem saying to her husband that she wants sex or how in fact she wants it. Outside of the bedroom she typically is result oriented oppose to dealing with the emotional sides of things which often time can match that of a husband. There is a lot more to her but by now you may think that the “feminine dominate” wife is ideal oppose to the submissive but really it’s about preference. Even they have lots to work on how to properly initiate sex with their husband because of other deficiencies. They may have the vocal part down to a science and may naturally be more confident in verbally speaking their mind about their particular sexual needs but she may also come off brash and forget to turn off the domineering when the husband wants to be in control. This may be a major problem when the husband wants to have sex with his wife who feels that she can reject his sexual request because she is busy, tired or just doesn’t want to be very sexy at the moment. Also, when she feels pain or hurt she may verbalize it in a way that is not well received by her husband and his masculinity could be threatened. These problem and others arise when she lets her dominant nature get out of order. Some “feminine dominate” wives can be controlling, dominating, or even abusive to their husbands and in result lead to a serious breakdown in communication because of the lack of resources for those experiencing this to get the proper help. This can also spill over into the bedroom and the husband can feel more like a tool than a wanted husband. The husband can feel like he is in a relationship with another male because of her personality if she doesn’t work to add more submissive balance. The obvious problem here is that the average heterosexual husband does not want to have sex with a wife who he views as too masculine and especially not at the expense of his own masculinity.

Earlier I mentioned, how communicating with the “feminine dominant” wife can often times be easier for the husband because of the common thought process. This can also be bad because having two strong opinions that have different views can lead to very intense conversations. It is advantageous for the couple to table the conversations for a later time so that intimacy isn’t totally destroyed.

Eventually I will create more content that is focused on the nature of a man and woman and how your nature is not your excuse in marriage. For now I am just going to touch on it and move on so I can get to my final thought. So here’s my final thought… No matter what feminine wife type that you are or have both submissive and dominant need the same core things:

  1. Training – She must be taught what you like in order to accommodate her husband’s needs in communicating and in the bedroom.
  2. Patience – She will need time to adjust because this may be very new for her and at first she may learn to her individual nature. Sometimes she will need a nice reminder
  3. Recognition – If she is making an effort to meet the need of her husband he should be working doubly as hard to meet hers as well as recognizing her for her efforts.

Wives it is important that you not to let your nature or the way that you wired get in the way or be an excuse not to accommodate your husband’s needs.

Remember great, fun and adventurous sex was designed for The Marriage Bed!


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Sex Addiction

Just what is a sex addiction and can it be easily treated? If only there were easy answers to those questions.

We don’t have to go further back than to the eighties before we can safely say that most people wouldn’t have heard of sex addiction and even psychologists wouldn’t have known how to treat it. Even today it’s difficult to define whether or not a person has an addiction or is merely highly sexed and yet sexual addiction has been with us throughout recorded history. Today it’s estimated that around 8% of the male population and 3% of females are sex addicts.

There’s no doubt that sexual addictions have been heavily fuelled by the popularity of the Internet, simply because it’s made sex easily available in both real and cyber forms. You can log on, meet somebody and be having cyber sex within a matter of minutes! And dating sites specifically designed to bring together people looking for no strings sex can be found on the virtual equivalent of every street corner.

Symptoms of Sex Addiction

Sex addicts are similar to any other addict in that they use their addiction as a means to controlling their stress levels. When things get on top of them, they turn to their preferred sexual activity in order to regain their personal equilibrium.

What’s important to understand is that while most of us tend to believe that sex addicts will have any kind of sex just as long as it leads to orgasm, this is far from the truth. Just as with anybody else, those suffering from a sexual addiction have their preferred sexual practises but it’s only when those practises interfere with an otherwise normal sex life or their lives in general and become a habitual need that can we say a person is a sex addict.

Simply put, those suffering from sex addiction display classic signs of compulsive behaviour. They MUST masturbate when they feel stressed; they MUST have sex with strangers in order to feel they have control over their lives; they MUST look at pornography on the Internet whenever they’re unhappy. And it becomes a vicious circle: they become unhappy because they haven’t looked at pornography, or they feel stressed because they haven’t masturbated.

Sex addicts will increasingly need to move their boundaries in order to experience the same sense of relief or control. Where masturbation was once enough, they may move on to exhibitionism. This may then progress to meeting online ‘friends’ in person or paying prostitutes for sex. As with any other form of addiction, what once appeared to be an innocent form of sexual fulfilment escalates until it’s uncontrollable.

Given a sex addict’s preoccupation with sex it often comes as a surprise to others that those suffering from a sexual addiction probably aren’t enjoying sex any more than the rest of us.

Aside from the breakdown of relationships, most forms of sexual addiction are harmless to anybody other than the addict. However, some sex addicts find themselves dependent on rape or child abuse in order to get their ‘hit’. It’s these cases that cause a real danger to society.

It’s not unusual for sex addicts to experience shame because of their addiction. They know they spend too much time in chat rooms, or that they shouldn’t risk hurting their partners by visiting prostitutes but are unable to stop themselves. Even though they try to stop they find themselves unable to. The result of sex addiction can be horrendous: marriage breakdowns, financial problems, low self-esteem, and sometimes arrest.

Can Sexual Addiction be Treated?

Luckily, the answer to this is yes but as with any treatment for addiction, the sex addict must understand that there is a problem and that it’s highly unlikely to get better of its own accord.

We’ve all heard that there’s no point in treating the symptoms without treating the cause and this certainly applies to the sex addict. The addict needs to understand the role that the sex addiction has served and address that. There are almost as many reasons for sexual addiction as there are addicts but some of the most common causes are abuse during childhood, lack of loving physical contact during childhood, lack of sexual interest within a relationship, and lack of self-esteem.

Once the root of the problem has been found the next step is to understand and accept that sexual addiction cannot be cured without abstinence. Just as it’s not possible to stop smoking whilst smoking or stop drinking whilst drinking, you cannot stop being addicted to sex whilst having sex. During the period of abstinence the sex addict should be able to re-access the situation and find a new sense of purpose.

There are a variety of self-help groups available to join, and many find these helpful as they not only offer practical guidance but also give the sex addict confirmation that they’re not alone. It can also often be easier to reach a goal if there are several people all heading in the same direction. After all, who wants to be the only one to have not managed to take control of their sex addiction?

A happy and fulfilling life without compulsive sex is possible for even those who have been sex addicts for many, many years. If you really want it, you can do it.

Good luck.

Sharon Jacobsen is a professional freelance writer based in South Cheshire, England and is available to write compelling, well-researched articles for your website, e-zine, newsletter or print publication at highly competitive fees.

To find out more about Sharon and her work or to download her rate card, please visit []

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The Top 5 Sex Rules That Get In the Way of Great Sex

Each of us believes and defends our own set of sex rules. These rules are not facts. They are judgements and opinions that we believe to be real. It is important to recognise and examine the Sex Rules that we are carrying around with us and into every sexual encounter.

We learn about sex from our experiences, from other people and the world around us. Our culture circulates information and ideas about what sex is, what sex should be, how often we should be having sex, who we ought to be having sex with. We are all free to form our own opinions as to what we think about sex, what men are like, what women are like. Sometimes we choose to believe things that do not help us find and sustain sexual pleasure. Instead we buy into rules that lead us to suppress our deepest desires and to deny the hope that things can get better.

Some of your Sex Rules will hopefully be positive; beliefs about your entitlement to pleasure, your freedom to explore what sexual fulfilment means to you and recognition of your entitlement to awaken and celebrate your sexual potential. You are probably also investing in other beliefs, which may be destructive to having great sexual experiences and are actually a source of anxiety and insecurity that undermines your confidence. Awareness is key to change. So take a look at the 5 most common beliefs that block sexual happiness and see which ones sound familiar.


If we hold on to the idea that it is someone else’s responsibility to ‘give’ us an orgasm, then we are abandoning our own responsibility. We are ALL different. There are no magical techniques that will send every single person into the throes of sexual ecstacy. Expecting your partner to be responsible for your sexual pleasure is unreasonable. It allows you to remain detached from your own sexuality and lets you hang onto an imagined sense of safety through the lack of your own participation and responsibility. You need to put yourself on the line and put out there what it is that you want. It may be easier to listen

to your fears and stay silent, hoping for the best, but when you open up you will build up your own self-esteem and confidence and respect for yourself and your sexual desires. You also enable your partner to do the same and both of you are starting to build successful sexual communication that will help you to find sexual fulfilment.

Any situation in which our anger and frustration are motivated by ‘shoulds’ indicated an abdication of responsibility. Mind reading, making assumptions about what other people should know, relieves you of having to go outside your familiar comfort zone and express your own needs and desires. You expect other people to make themselves vulnerable by exposing themselves to the risk of ‘failure’, not getting right what they ‘should’ already know. Do not make other people do the work for you, trying to guess what it is that you want. It is not a successful strategy for great sex and it leaves you vulnerable to feelings of disappointment and rejection each time somebody fails to behave as you expect him or her to.


The dizzying chemistry of the first months can be turned into a deeper sex-self-spirit connection that heightens sexual pleasure. Do not give up trying; the less sex you have the easier it is to convince yourself that it isn’t important and so you decide to bury your disappointment and frustration. In any relationship, levels of desire will fluctuate. This is not a disaster. Keep touching and being affectionate with each other and your attraction will return. The specific danger of this belief is that it justifies and reinforces the temptation to give up and stop trying to create and maintain sexual passion in a long-term relationship. This can easily lead to a situation in which there is no longer any physical touch between you and your partner and emotional connection and intimacy levels will begin to diminish.

Although it may not be easy, find the courage to talk to your partner if you feel that you are not happy with your current sex life otherwise your resentment that your sexual needs are unacknowledged and unmet can seep out and affect the general state of your relationship. You need to recognise that sometimes better sex takes some effort, time and commitment. It may not sound very sexy but sexiness is all in your perception. Some people choose to investigate Tantric practices, which widen the possibilities of what sex can be by seeing that sexuality can be experienced beyond the typical Western penetration-ejaculation approach. For other people, making the decision to make time for sex is enough to re-ignite the sense of intimacy and enjoyment that has been lost.


This conviction completely simplifies and trivialises men’s sexual responses. Men’s levels of desire are affected by their thoughts and feelings, just as women’s are. Men are not sexual machines who ready to perform upon command, although many messages that we receive about sex tell us that this is the case. This puts tremendous pressure on the man, leading to the performance anxiety that is familiar to many men. Somehow, when sex fails, for some women it is easier to blame the man rather than acknowledging that sexual connections between two people are controlled and created by both of those people, not just the man. When a woman believes this to be true, she is vulnerable to feeling undesirable and unwanted whenever her partner does not want to have sex. For some women reflecting upon their assumptions can enable them to take more responsibility for their own sexual pleasure and for men, it can come as a welcome relief from taking total responsibility for giving a woman the ‘gift’ of sexual pleasure.


Learning more and better sex tips and tricks to bring you greater sexual satisfaction is not always the key to sexual fulfilment. Some people do have great sex lives and want to learn more about how to make it even better. In this kind of situation, tips and tricks can add another element to the relationship. However, if your sex life is not fulfilling you, expecting a quick fix in the form of ‘things’ to do to and with your partner is unlikely to bring you what you want. Technical proficiency alone can make for an emotionally isolating experience, if not for you than possibly for your partner. It comes back to the sex-self-spirit connection. Finding sexual happiness is not only about what you do. It is also about who you are. How willing are you to show yourself to another person. Can you let go enough emotionally and physically to open yourself up to pleasure? Sometimes too much emphasis on doing is a way of masking and denying what is wrong in your state of being.


Masturbation is a fantastic way to enhance partner sex because it is all about exploring your own sexual potential. You do not need a lover to explore your own sexuality and raise your sexual energy. In fact, the more you know about your own sexual response, the better the lover you can become. When you take responsibility for knowing about what you like and dislike, then you are able to show and/or tell a partner how to please you. Most people like to be told and your clarity will give both of you greater confidence and control over your sexual experiences. Many people view masturbation as something of a last resort for a single person. However, learning how to pleasure yourself enables you to develop a rich fantasy life that can enhance your sexual relationships with other people.

Creating sustained sexual happiness requires you to be comfortable with who you are and that you are aware of your sexual style, likes and dislikes. You need to be able to communicate this to another person and not to be inhibited by fears of other people’s possible perceptions. Other people’s reactions are their problem, their issues – not yours. It can seem as if you have to take on board the discomfort and judgements of others but you do not. Remember that you get to decide how to react to other people and you can choose to be courageous, confident and in the certainty that you know and accept who you are as a sexual being.

(c) Dr Tara Few, The UK Sex Coach. [] I am a sex and relationship coach and I work with people who know that sex is important to them but who feel that something is missing from their sex lives. I can help you to explore your own sexual style, desires and needs. Connnect to the fun and pleasure potential of your sexuality by working with me and you can become a happier and more confident lover. You will update your knowledge, skills and become more accepting of who are you sexually. Contact me on receive regular tips, techniques, articles and resources about sex, sign-up for my monthly eZine VENTURESQUE using the sign-up box on my website. []

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